The Used People Lot — Context and Discussion

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Orban, Paul, 1896-1974 [Illustrator], Fang, Irving E., 1929-2016 Project Gutenberg 2019 Not confirmed
Science fiction; Short stories; Automobiles -- Fiction Readers of public-domain and historical texts
Project Gutenberg digital edition en

Edition facts

Words 5,236
Reading time 23 min
Text sections 1

This digital edition of The Used People Lot — Context and Discussion is described by source-level measurements including 5,236 words, 23 min estimated reading time, and 1 detected text section.

The text analysis averages about 17.6 words per sentence, while the detected sections provide another way to judge how the source is divided.

Project Gutenberg metadata also associates the work with “Science fiction,” connecting these edition facts with the source record’s subject description.

In a 1958 science fiction story, a man's broken-down Thunderflash car and his tooth telephone conversations reveal a future where consumer debt and social status hinge on automobile ownership.
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Editorial Edition Score 4.4/5

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  • Title & short description10 pts
  • Source metadata20 pts
  • Text length15 pts
  • Chapters / structure15 pts
  • EPUB file integrity20 pts

Total of 100 points, scaled to a 2.5-5.0 range. Editions with an empty description or a missing EPUB file are not scored.

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_Faint car never won fair lady!... Make_ your _car proud of you!... Grinning Gregory helps used people!_

[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]

It's had it. Finished. Done. My wonderful red Thunderflash, I thought to myself, isn't worth the electricity to atomize it to Kingdom Come.

Ever since that drunk in his two-seat Charioteer plowed into the rear end with such force that even my radar repellant couldn't stop it, my Thunderflash had been out of kilter. The specialists my garage recommended worked over it for two days, but couldn't get it to running the way it did new.

And what was I supposed to do for an automobile now? I had signed the customary 40-year pact for half my salary to pay for it. That meant I would still be shelling out by 2117.

Weeping over it wasn't going to do any good. It was stuck on the fifth level expressway and that was that. I levered myself out (at least the ejector still worked) then got behind the car and gave it a good old-fashioned push to get it on an off-ramp, out of the stream of traffic.

After I parked I remembered I was heading for a date with Jenny. I checked my wallet. No, not enough for a taxi there. I would just have to phone her to cancel the date.

Reluctantly I pushed the tip of my tongue against my tooth telephone.

"Operator," said the operator.

"Poplar 3104, please."

"Thank you. One moment. I'll ache it for you."

She dialed the number of the tooth telephone in Jenny's mouth, so the two fine wires sent gentle electric currents into the nerve. On the third ache Jenny clicked the receiver open with the tip of her tongue.

"Jenny, this is Arnold. I won't be able to come over this evening."

"But we had a date," Jenny said in a petulant voice.

"I know, but my car broke down."

"Why don't you do something about it?" Jenny complained.

"But baby, what can I do? I've been to the garage. I've been to the specialists. I'm so broke on account of these repair bills I've been living on macaroni concentrate for the last couple of weeks."

Jenny, my beautiful sweetheart, was distinctly unhappy. "Don't come to me with your troubles," she replied. "In fact, you don't have to come to me at all until you can come like a gentleman."

"Aw, listen just a minute, Jenny," I started to plead. But it was too late. Jenny had clicked off.

A fine thermokettle of fish! A month ago I had a shiny lifetime car and was romancing the best looking girl in town. Then one drunk comes along and my car is next to useless and my girl is mad at me.

Feeling in a distinctly blue mood I moved my tongue to the other side of my mouth and shoved on my tooth radio. I rolled the tongue over the bottom of the tooth until I got a program with some blues music. Just the way I felt. The blues. I sat in the front seat of my Thunderflash and listened to the music echoing against my tonsils.

After the song came the inevitable commercial. Only this was a new one. The announcer said:

"Here's some big, big, big news from Grinning Gregory, your largest volume dealer in lifetime cars. Gregory announced today that his used people lots are nearly empty. Yes, Grinning Gregory's used people lots are nearly empty. And that means good, good, good news for you car owners with lifetime contracts who would like new cars.

"Grinning Gregory has added to his stocks of new Orions, Thunderflashes, Galaxies, Solars, Charioteers, Protons and Fords. For the first time in two years, yes, the first time in two years, he has more new cars than new people to sell them to.

"So he is offering a limited number of them to used people, you folks who have had cars, on his conveniently located used people lots. Come on down and let some of Grinning Gregory's new cars look you over. Be sure and bring photostats of your credit ratings and official car histories. Hurry, hurry, hurry and avoid the rush to Grinning Gregory's used people lots."

The commercial ended and was replaced by music.

Gosh, that was exciting news. Ever since the accident I had given up hope of ever owning a decent running car again, automobile prices and government restrictions being what they were.

The story opens with a man mourning his broken-down Thunderflash, a car so integral to his life that its failure derails both his finances and his romance. Irving Fang’s 1958 tale immediately establishes a future where automobiles are not just transportation but the axis of personal worth. The narrator’s internal monologue—‘It’s had it. Finished. Done.’—sets a tone of comic despair that persists throughout the excerpts. Fang’s diction blends futuristic jargon with colloquial lament, creating a voice that feels both familiar and estranged.

Tooth Telephones and Everyday Technology

One of the story’s most striking authorial choices is the integration of communication technology into the body. The narrator uses a ‘tooth telephone,’ activated by pressing his tongue against a tooth, and the operator ‘aches’ the number into Jenny’s tooth. This bodily interface is presented without wonder or explanation, as if it were as mundane as a landline. Fang’s casual treatment of the device—the operator says ‘I’ll ache it for you’—emphasizes how thoroughly technology has been naturalized in this world. The tooth radio, too, is operated by rolling the tongue over the bottom of a tooth, allowing the narrator to listen to blues music while sitting in his broken car. These details are not plot devices but texture: they show a society where the body itself is a platform for consumer technology, and where personal communication is both intimate and mediated by machinery.

The Language of Consumer Despair

Fang’s narrator speaks in a register that mixes 1950s slang with futuristic exasperation. Phrases like ‘a fine thermokettle of fish’ and ‘weeping over it wasn’t going to do any good’ ground the story in a recognizable vernacular, even as the setting includes radar repellants and 40-year car pacts. The narrator’s financial plight—‘I’m so broke on account of these repair bills I’ve been living on macaroni concentrate’—is rendered in the same tone as his romantic woes. Jenny’s response, ‘Don’t come to me with your troubles,’ echoes a familiar sitcom dynamic, but the context of a broken-down future car gives it a satirical edge. Fang uses this diction to critique consumer culture: the narrator’s identity is so tied to his car that its failure triggers a social and emotional crisis. The language never rises to melodrama; instead, it stays in a key of low-grade panic, making the absurdity of the situation feel credible.

Setting as Social Commentary

The story’s setting is sketched through offhand references rather than exposition. The narrator’s car is stuck on the ‘fifth level expressway,’ suggesting a multi-tiered urban infrastructure. He signed a ‘customary 40-year pact for half my salary’ to pay for the Thunderflash, a detail that implies a society where long-term indenture for consumer goods is normal. The garage specialists work on the car for two days but cannot restore it to ‘the way it did new,’ hinting at planned obsolescence or the fragility of high-tech systems. Fang does not explain these elements; they are presented as background facts, which makes them more effective as world-building. The setting is not a backdrop but a mechanism that drives the plot: the narrator’s inability to afford repairs or a taxi isolates him, and his social standing depends on a functioning vehicle. By embedding these details in the narrator’s complaints, Fang makes the social critique feel organic rather than didactic.

Voice and the Unreliable Narrator

The narrator, Arnold, is our only window into the story, and his voice is both self-pitying and comically unaware. He describes his Thunderflash as ‘my wonderful red Thunderflash’ even as he admits it is worthless. He blames a drunk driver for his troubles but never considers his own role in signing a 40-year contract. His internal monologue is full of hyperbolic metaphors—‘not worth the electricity to atomize it to Kingdom Come’—that undercut his seriousness. Jenny’s petulant ‘Again?’ suggests this is a pattern, not a one-time crisis. Fang uses this first-person perspective to create irony: the reader may sympathize with Arnold’s plight while recognizing his myopia. The tooth telephone conversations, with their clipped dialogue and emotional distance, reinforce the sense that technology mediates human connection without improving it. Arnold’s final act of listening to blues music on his tooth radio is a moment of stasis, not resolution, leaving the story open-ended in a way that suits its satirical tone.

Fang’s story rewards attention to its small, telling details: the way a tooth telephone works, the offhand mention of a 40-year car pact, the narrator’s macaroni concentrate diet. These are not mere decoration but the building blocks of a coherent satirical world. Readers who enjoy mid-century science fiction’s focus on social critique will find much to appreciate here, especially in the interplay between futuristic technology and all-too-human frustration. The story’s brevity—around 5,000 words—makes it a quick read, but its implications linger.

Reading about that Thunderflash and its tooth-telephone reminded me of my grandfather’s old DeSoto, the smell of its vinyl seats and the way it defined his evenings. Angel's Egg — Reading Companion stirred that same quiet ache for things that carry our lives, their weight sometimes heavier than their utility. Both stories left me wondering why we let objects hold so much of who we are.

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