The Polite People of Pudibundia — Story, Setting & Ideas
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_THE POLITE PEOPLE OF PUDIBUNDIA_
_This was a world where minding your manners was more than just a full-time job--it was murder!_
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Worlds of If Science Fiction, January 1961. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
"Well, you will soon see for yourself, Marlow. Yes, I know there are peculiar stories about the place. There are about all places. The young pilots who have been there tell some amusing tales about it."
"Yes. They say the people there are very polite."
"That is the honorable ancestor of all understatements. One of the pilots, Conrad, told us that the inhabitants must always carry seven types of eyeglasses with them. None of the Puds, you see, may ever gaze directly on another. That would be the height of impoliteness. They wear amber goggles when they go about their world at large, and these they wear when they meet a stranger. But, once they are introduced to him, then they must thereafter look on him through blue glasses. But at a blood relative they gaze through red, and at an in-law through yellow. There are equally interesting colors for other situations."
"I would like to talk to Conrad. Not that I doubt his reports. It is the things he did not report that interest me."
"I thought you knew he had died. Thrombosis, though he was sound enough when first certified."
"But if they are really people, then it should be possible to understand them."
"But they are not really people. They are metamorphics. They become people only out of politeness."
"Detail that a little."
"Oh, they're biped and of a size of us. They have a chameleon-like skin that can take on any texture they please, and they possess extreme plasticity of features."
"You mean they can take on the appearance of people at will?"
"So Bently reported."
"I hadn't heard of him."
"Another of the young pilots. According to Bently, not only do the Puds take on a human appearance, they take on the appearance of the human they encounter. Out of politeness, of course."
"Quite a tribute, though it seems extreme. Could I talk to Bently?"
"Also dead. A promising young man. But he reported some of the most amusing aspects of all: the circumlocutions that the Puds use in speaking our language. Not only is the Second Person eschewed out of politeness, but in a way all the other Persons also. One of them could not call you by your name, Marlow. He would have to say: 'One hears of one who hears of one of the noble name of Marlow. One hears of one even now in his presence.'"
"Yes, that is quite a polite way of saying it. But it would seem that with all their circumlocutions they would be inefficient."
"Yet they are quite efficient. They do things so well that it is almost imperative that we learn from them. Yet for all our contacts, for all their extreme politeness coupled with their seeming openness, we have been able to learn almost nothing. We cannot learn the secret of the amazing productivity of their fields. According to Sharper, another of the young pilots, they suggest (though so circumspectly that it seems hardly a suggestion, certainly not a criticism) that if we were more polite to our own plants, the plants would be more productive for us; and if we gave the plants the ultimate of politeness, they would give us the ultimate of production."
"Could I talk to Sharper, or is he also--"
"No, he is not dead. He was quite well till the last several days. Now, however, he is ailing, but I believe it will be possible for you to talk to him before you leave, if he does not worsen."
"It would still seem difficult for the Puds to get anything done. Wouldn't a superior be too polite to give a reprimand to an inferior?"
"Probably. But Masters, who visited them, had a theory about it, which is that the inferior would be so polite and deferential that he would do his best to anticipate a wish or a desire, or would go to any lengths to learn the import of an unvoiced preference."
"Is Masters one of the young pilots?"
"Now you _do_ interest me."
The story opens with a conversation between Marlow and an unnamed colleague about the planet Pudibundia, where inhabitants must carry seven types of eyeglasses. The colleague reports that Puds never gaze directly at one another; they wear amber goggles in public, blue for acquaintances, red for blood relatives, and yellow for in-laws. This elaborate system is presented as the 'honorable ancestor of all understatements,' immediately establishing that politeness is not merely a social grace but a rigid, life-or-death code.
Marlow, a detective figure, is skeptical and determined to uncover the truth behind the rumors. The colleague warns that previous investigators—pilots named Conrad and Bently—have died under mysterious circumstances. The excerpts suggest that the Puds are metamorphic beings who mimic human appearance out of politeness, and their speech avoids the second person entirely, using circumlocutions like 'One hears of one who hears of one of the noble name of Marlow.' This verbal evasion mirrors the visual evasion, creating a pattern of indirectness that Marlow must penetrate.
The Color-Coded Gaze
The most immediately striking feature of Pudibundian society is its system of colored eyeglasses, which regulate visual contact according to relationship and context. The excerpts describe seven types of glasses, each with a specific social function: amber for strangers, blue for acquaintances, red for blood relatives, yellow for in-laws, and other colors for 'equally interesting' situations. This taxonomy transforms a simple biological act—looking—into a complex ritual of status and intimacy.
The glasses are not merely decorative; they are essential for survival. As the story progresses, Marlow learns that direct, unprotected eye contact is fatal. The Puds' eyes, when uncovered, emit a lethal force that kills within seconds upon a second glance. The first glance, as OMTLM explains, initiates a slow death over several weeks. This biological hazard explains why the Puds have developed such elaborate visual protocols: politeness is a shield against accidental murder.
Lafferty uses the glasses to create a visual code that the reader must decipher alongside Marlow. The colors are not arbitrary but carry symbolic weight: red for blood relatives suggests passion or danger, blue for acquaintances implies calm distance, and amber for strangers evokes warning. The system also hints at a deeper logic—perhaps the Puds' eyes are sensitive to different wavelengths, or the colors modulate the lethal effect. The text does not fully explain, leaving the mechanism tantalizingly obscure.
Circumlocution as a Verbal Trap
Pudibundian speech is as indirect as their gaze. The excerpts show that the Puds avoid the second person entirely, replacing 'you' with elaborate periphrases. For example, instead of addressing Marlow by name, a Pud would say: 'One hears of one who hears of one of the noble name of Marlow. One hears of one even now in his presence.' This style extends to all personal references, creating a linguistic maze that frustrates direct communication.
Marlow's colleague notes that despite these circumlocutions, the Puds are 'quite efficient' and do things 'so well that it is almost imperative that we learn from them.' Yet the very politeness that enables efficiency also prevents understanding. The Puds' openness is deceptive; they answer questions but in a way that yields no actionable information. When Marlow asks OMTLM if he has been given a fatal sickness, OMTLM replies truthfully that to the best of his knowledge he has not—but adds that the statement was true when said and not true a moment later. This verbal trickery is not lying (politeness forbids lying) but a form of temporal evasion.
The circumlocutions mirror the visual indirection: both are systems of polite avoidance that conceal lethal truths. Marlow's mission is to pierce these layers of politeness, but the story suggests that the very act of seeking directness is what triggers the fatal outcome.
The Fatal Curiosity of Earthlings
The story's climax hinges on a single request: Marlow asks to see OMTLM's eyes. This request, born of curiosity and a desire for truth, is the same one made by all previous Earth pilots. OMTLM complies because 'it would not be polite to refuse.' The act of showing his eyes is both a gift and a death sentence. Marlow sees compassion in those eyes, but the compassion does not prevent his death.
The narrative frames curiosity as a 'failing of you Earthlings,' suggesting that the Puds' politeness is not merely a cultural quirk but a necessary adaptation to their biology. Earthlings, lacking such biological constraints, fail to understand the stakes. The pilots who return tell 'amusing stories' immediately, but none survive long enough to become old pilots. The story thus becomes a cautionary tale about the limits of cross-species understanding: what seems like excessive courtesy is actually a survival mechanism.
Lafferty leaves the exact nature of the Puds ambiguous. Are they truly metamorphic, or is their human appearance a polite illusion? The text does not confirm, but the pattern of indirectness suggests that the Puds' true form may be as lethal as their gaze. The story's final line—'you will never find an old pilot who has ever been there'—underscores the finality of the encounter.
Readers should pay close attention to the dialogue's structure: every evasion, every polite refusal, and every seemingly trivial detail about glasses or speech patterns carries weight. The story rewards careful rereading, as clues about the Puds' biology and psychology are embedded in the characters' offhand remarks. Note also the symmetry between the opening conversation and the final confrontation—both involve a warning that goes unheeded. Lafferty's prose is lean and ironic, using humor to mask the grim logic beneath.
Years ago, I shelved Lafferty’s Polite People of Pudibundia and felt the strange chill of a kindness that kills. Later, my fingers found The Elroom — Reading Notes, and I recognized that same quiet shiver—a room that holds its breath. They are not alike in story, but in soul: both whisper how gentleness can hide a locked door.
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